What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Have you ever had sex with your mother-in-law? If so, how was it and did your wife ever find out?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

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Do you know what she said mum?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

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What do you mean son?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”